The Longest Shortest Time

We Can’t Stop: Manners Edition

Recently Sasha has been stuck on one book, one song, and one video. So I figured it was time for another We Can’t Stop post. Because we literally can’t stop.

The Book

Many of you may be familiar with James Marshall’s George and Martha, the lovable hippos with a loyal and realistically complex friendship. One of my friends recently sent us the Complete Stories of Two Best Friends, and Sasha has been completely and utterly hooked. I think first off, she was amazed that there could be so many stories about the same characters. For a couple of weeks, she was only interested in a few of those stories: the one about Martha opening George’s box of Mexican jumping beans, even though it’s marked with a sign that says “Do Not Open”; the one about George secretly pouring Martha’s split pea soup into his loafers because he hates it but pretends he likes it; and the one about Martha throwing a tub over George’s head when she catches him peeping on her while bathing. Sasha has now moved on to wanting to read each story in the book in succession, but I think it’s interesting to note that all three of the ones she kept returning to are about manners. We’ve been working a lot on politeness lately. Not barking orders at Mommy. Asking questions rather than shoving something in your face and grunting. Giving people (including your little friends) privacy when they need it. When you’re a baby, you don’t need manners. People are just thrilled that you can communicate your desires at all. It must be a shock when, three years in, mere communication of desires is not enough—and even has the potential to be massively irritating. I think these very short stories are helping Sasha to navigate the world of pleases and thank-yous, and all of the other things that are expected of a person who wants to have friends. Parents, note: I said “very short.” As in, you can read a slew of these at bedtime, satisfying the child’s plea for “just one more” (or in Sasha’s case, “just four more”) without feeling like you’ve hit your limit. That is, as long as they say please.

The Video

Back when I posted about Sasha enjoying listening to soundtracks, reader Jesse reminded me of Free to Be You and Me, which I had totally forgotten was a video as well as a soundtrack. The other day, Sasha and I were picking a video at the library and she randomly grabbed one from the shelf, insisting that we get that one. I was relieved to see that she’d picked Free to Be—something I would not only allow her to watch, but I was excited to watch. While I wanted to relive the entire Free to Be experience, once Sasha had landed on “Ladies First,” she *would not* watch any of the other segments.

Perhaps not surprisingly, “Ladies First” is another story about manners. In a big way. When watching this video, Sasha clicks the back button on the remote incessantly, as if she’s a detective trying to crack the coded message hidden in its content. Actually, I think that really is what she’s doing. The “tender sweet young thing” keeps saying please when she wants something, which is what you’re supposed to say, right? So how come she gets put in the soup? And for that matter, why does the box get thrown in the soup, too?! (A question Sasha is really hung up on.) We’ve been talking about tone, and how to say please in a polite way, and how to wait your turn and share. All pretty deep ideas for a three-year-old, and ones I can vaguely remember contemplating while lying on my parents threadbare antique couch listening to Free to Be on vinyl.

The Song

The CD set comes in a hat box!

With our music library on shuffle the other day, looking for something good to dance to, I rediscovered One Kiss Can Lead to Another: Girl Group Sounds, Lost and Found. I suddenly remembered the track “Peanut Duck” by Marsha Gee.

Okay, so the 45 cover doesn’t make it look kid-friendly, but I assure you it is. At least the way we dance the Peanut Duck. Not sure how Marsha did it. But we have been dancing it everywhere. At home, in the car. And we don’t do it politely.

Have your kids explored manners through media of any kind? At what age did you stop needing to remind them to be polite?