The Longest Shortest Time

EPISODE #114: Babymaking While Queer

Remember Kirya from episode 59? How, as a kid, she freestyled a rap about being Black to her single white mom? Well, Kirya’s not rapping about race anymore, but she’s still thinking about race a lot. Especially when it comes to having kids. Which she knows she wants. But as a woman in a queer relationship, she’s not exactly sure how she’ll make that happen.

Kirya told us that many of her friends are in the same boat—navigating the often confusing waters of queer family planning. So we invited Kirya and her partner Steph into the studio, along with Sasha and Crystal—a couple they’re close with—to hash out their options.

Kirya holding Steph’s hand, the day they got engaged

Sasha and Crystal enjoying a sunny day in February

Tune in for a lively roundtable discussion on the complex world of modern baby-making—and how your own childhood and cultural background can deeply inform what path you decide to take.

Resources for LGBTQ Family Planning
As you’ll hear in this episode, Kirya and her pals attended an LGBTQ family planning workshop to help give them an overview of their options for babymaking. You specific options will vary depending on your location, but here are a couple of comprehensive national resources to get you started. Note: we are not covering adoption or foster care here because, while the couples we featured in this show are open to those ideas, they are hoping to first try for a child that is biologically related to at least one of them first.

For everyone: Of course, LGBTQ folks aren’t the only people seeking the help of reproductive technology, and Path2Parenthood is a resource for everyone. Their site has a find a professional search to help you find legal or medical experts in your area. They also have events held nationwide.

For LGBTQ: Gay Parents To Be has resources for all kinds of queer couples at all steps of the process from legal, to financial, to medical. They also have an events and seminars page with national webinars and local events around the country.

Are YOU trying to figure out how to start a family in something other than the “old-fashioned” way?
How does your own family history or culture play into your decision-making? Does your partner have different ideas? Help us keep this roundtable going! Talk to each other, in the comments.

Kirya top image: Tonilyn Sideco

Our sponsors for this episode are Squarespace, Madison Reed (code: LONGSHORT), Yogi Teas, and Wunder Capital. Use the promo codes at checkout for a special discount.