EPISODE #80

The Accidental Gay Parents, 3

EPISODE #80

The Accidental Gay Parents, 3

Remember Trystan and John? They took in John’s sister’s two young children one weekend to prevent them from entering the foster care system. And then wound up fighting John’s sister in court for legal guardianship. In episode 60, Trystan told the story from his perspective. Then in episode 62, John told his side of the story—and we got to hear tape from the adoption ceremony.

At the adoption hearing

At the adoption hearing

Just after the adoption

Just after the adoption

Throughout the adoption process, Trystan and John were afraid of being paired with a judge who wouldn’t be able to understand their family. Not only is the couple gay, but Trystan is trans—he was assigned female at birth and started taking testosterone at age 20 to help grow a beard and lower his voice.

AGP3-Trystan-Biff-field

There have been a lot of changes since we last heard from Trystan and John. For one thing, John changed his name. He’s now going by Biff. (We’ll explain it all in this episode.) And—the biggest news—Trystan got pregnant. Which was kinda planned and kinda not. Tune in to hear the next chapter in our saga with The Accidental Gay Parents, in which a trans man navigates early pregnancy. And his partner, who never imagined impregnating someone, deals with his complicated feelings over the whole thing.

There is so much to unpack here that we’ll be devoting our next episode to this story as well. Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss it!

Do YOU relate to Trystan and Biff’s story?
Is there something in here that reminds you of your relationship? Your pregnancy? Tell us.

Outdoor photos: Derrek Becker

Our sponsors for this episode are Bright Cellars ,  1-800-Flowers (code: LONGSHORT), Crane and Canopy (code:LONGSHORT), ATT Digital Life and Universal Yums (code: LONGSHORT) Use the promo codes at checkout for a special discount.

15 thoughts on “EPISODE #80: The Accidental Gay Parents, 3

  1. Hillary, I love your podcast! Well done! I am fascinated with Trystan & Biff’s family story. Fingers crossed for some happy news in the future for them!

  2. I cannot listen to Trystan and Biff’s stories without crying. Every. Single. Time. I don’t know what it is but they get me every time. Love you guys and love your life story. I wish you the best, always and forever!

  3. And another thing: “The plan we did have was not the plan that happened.”

    How amazing that that’s typically true for cis couples as well!! Just one more way we’re all so much more alike than we realize.

  4. Over the course of becoming a parent this past year, I have fallen in love with your podcast!!! It has kept me company in very many solitary mum/baby moments and has made me laugh, cry, think and rave about how you have managed to show the world that the definition of family is so much more than just a mum, dad and kid(s). Trystan and Biff’s story have found a particularly special place in my heart and I am so grateful for your collective efforts to show the world how messy and beautiful the ride of pregnancy and parenthood can be, and almost definitely, is. I can’t wait to hear how their story continues to unfold… Thank you, Trystan and Biff, for including us on your incredible journey of undeniably boundless, unconditional love.

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