EPISODE #93

Anna Sale
on Becoming a Mom

EPISODE #93

Anna Sale
on Becoming a Mom

Anna Sale hosts the podcast Death, Sex & Money.

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Death, sex, and money: these are the trifecta of scary things for parents. Or, at least, I think so. Anna started her show before she was a mom. But in June she gave birth to a baby girl.

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Tune in to hear how Anna’s parents shaped her ideas on death, sex, and money—and how she feels about those things now that she’s a parent herself.

What scares YOU the most: death, sex, or money?
And why? Spill all. In the comments.

Anna headshots: Amy Pearl for WNYC

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10 thoughts on “EPISODE #93: Anna Sale on Becoming a Mom

  1. Money, Money, Money!
    Having the other two kind in a zen place (thank you meditation and Dan Savage), money is by far the biggest worry. we want to give our kids all sorts of experiences, travelling, museums, activities but we are always carefully monitoring our money. I spent 6 years at home, raising and homeschooling my kids. We never realized how many different ways we tweaked our money situation to make that work until I went back to work and we had to come to terms with how we are going to pay it all off to move forward.

  2. Death was the first thing on my top of mind after having my baby in April. I had the natural birth I had always wanted but quickly spiraled into a severe postpartum hemorrhage requiring a blood transfusion of 2 units. It really made me realize not every mom lives to be a mom and I am so grateful I was in the hospital to get proper care. Baby blues and a near death experience did a number on my emotions for a few weeks there!

  3. Death, which has changed from mo ey since becoming a parent. I’m terrified of something happening to one of us and so sad to be facing the realities of our parents’ aging. Not at all at peace with any of it.

  4. I can’t just choose one! We found out last week at 21 weeks that we are having twins. While this is exciting, it is also somewhat terrifying. The first thing is getting two babies into this world happy and healthy. The second is how to then make it all work. We have a small vegetable/livestock farm which we are on the brink of making profitable, but having two babies means my wife won’t be going back to work as a beekeeping store manager. Also, I will need to keep up my construction business to make ends meet. We are super excited, but it is also quite daunting.

  5. Right now sex scares me most. I’ve been divorce for 2 years after a 36 year marriage. I’ve really never dated. In high school I went to parties and got “hooked up”. Sometimes after a few hook ups I’d hang out with the guy, one on one. But that was pretty rare.
    I have a comment for Anna about her baby. She said here daughter was a frank breech (butt first). I was a frank breech baby too, delivered vaginally. I have developmental hip dysplasia. A small number of frank breech babies have this problem, and I just wanted Anna to be aware of it (if she isn’t already).
    Love the show!

  6. This is for you, Anna. Keep blinking.
    “There are so many joys of having older children, and of being older oneself. Believe it. … I’m here from your future, to tell you that it hasn’t gone by too fast. It hasn’t gone by at all. The story is still being told. And every chapter holds its own wonders.”
    https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/aug/20/parenthood-mother-young-children-grow-embrace-next-stage?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

    Also, you might really like RIE parenting. I’m sure it’s big in Berkeley. I like to combine their measured calm approach with occasional bouts of yelling.

  7. SEX!!! My beautiful baby girl is almost 5 month pregnant and she is literally the Best Baby Ever #BBE. She sleeps well(12 hours), eats like a champ, super social (so makes our life pretty normal when it comes to parties and dinners out). But I am feeling the stress monster with going back to work from maternity leave, school starting for the Biggers (my older kids 11 & 7), double pumping at 11:00 to drain my boobs dry, and the piles of laundry and dishes. This is my 2nd marriage and my husband is a first time Dad & he has been great! He makes dinner, picks up the wittle girl from day care, ridiculously engaged with the her….but there is still so much. I just don’t have my libido back and the lack of energy doesn’t help. I know that it will come back….it did before and I’m hoping that like groundhog day, it will pop it’s lil head up out of the hidey hole….not too scared of it’s shadow. But it’s the waiting…and also the guilt of not feeling sexy…for myself and my husband. We have had the conversation about my unsexy blah feeling….and I will return to my sex-bot ways(fingers crossed). I’m just torn to keep my lil nugget in the adorable Baby Fun Size as long as possible and moving my body passed this phase. Yesterday, while listening to this ep. with Anna Sale, I got Sups Emo in the car on my way to pick up the Biggers from school…relating to being back to work and all of the “Missing Out” that comes along with that. Thanks for being my lobster podcast and supporting in all the women/mommie ways.

  8. Death – of anyone. I worry that something might happen to my baby and I would spiral out of control and my husband and I would get a divorce (because I’ve heard that is common with the death of a child). I worry that my husband would die and I’d have to raise our baby alone while barely functioning and mourning his death. I worry about me dying and my baby suddenly having to drink formula (I breastfeed and stay home, so I don’t have a big stash of pumped milk), or having separation anxiety, me not being there to soothe him. I worry that both my husband and I will die and wonder what kind of life our baby would have growing up with someone else.

    After having a baby, death suddenly seems too real and something I’m not ready for.

  9. Death is the top thing that freaks me out the most. Mostly because one of my moms (I was adopted by a lesbian couple as a baby) died when I was almost 5 from breast cancer. My mom’s dad died when she was 16 and my grandmother was 40, and my mommy who died was 45, and my mom as 40 at the time. I have this weird fear that the first born women in our family are somehow cursed to lose our spouse at age 40. I am 32, so hopefully I have at least 8 more years (or more because it’s just silly) but its a weird strange fear of mine. Also, just realizing as a mom that my mom who died had to come to terms with the fact that she would never see me grow up. I tell myself that we never know how long our time on this earth is, so I will try to love my family as much, and as well, as I can while we are all here.

    Money is definitely up there, but I got an inheritance so I have a bit of a cushion for a little while and use it to work 32hrs a week so I can spend a bit more time with my son, while also keeping my sanity by not being a stay-at-home mom.

    Sex has always been the least important thing for me. My husband and I have had sex about 4 times since I got pregnant 2 years ago. I would like it to be more, but at the same time it’s very uncomfortable for me while still breastfeeding. I am fine with waiting, and my husband and I are really just to tired to care much about it right now.

  10. Oh my goodness! This episode was EXACTLY what I needed! I have a 7 week old and everything Anna said hit home and made me feel less alone in my new identity. So thank you!! Love when a podcast and good storytelling can connect all of us a little more and reaffirm all of our unique experiences :)

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