The Longest Shortest Time

Longest Shortest Papas Group

Our Longest Shortest Time Mamas Facebook group has been going so well that I have decided to launch one for papas! I figured you dudes would want a place where you could talk dad shop without a lady in the room, so I’ve asked my husband Jonathan to moderate this one.

I’ll let Jonathan tell you more about the group.

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When Hillary started a private Facebook group last month, she asked me if it should be for dads too. She didn’t want to leave anyone out. But the whole point of creating that private space was so that moms could feel comfortable talking about intimate emotional and physical stuff related to childbirth and children. The idea of letting dudes hang around in that space seemed a little weird. But I know Hillary has never intended The Longest Shortest Time to be just for moms. I was, of course, by her side through the rough first few months of our daughter Sasha’s life that Hillary has described here, and while I wasn’t physically recovering from that trauma, I was going through my own stuff. There were several times, during labor and afterwards, that I felt like I’d failed as a husband because my wife was in pain and there was nothing I could do about it. One night when Sasha didn’t go to sleep until after 4 a.m., I almost dropped her because I was so tired. That night, I felt angry and crushed and not 100% sure I could handle being a dad. Days when I’m at work and Hillary is home alone dealing with tantrums, I’m thoroughly racked with guilt. But also, if I’m honest, a little bit relieved to have something else I can focus on. These are the kinds of things we can talk openly about at Longest Shortest Papas. And really, whatever you want. It’s your space. This is still Hillary’s project, so she might occasionally pop in to ask a question, but I’ll be the one moderating the group. Same rules here as with the moms’ group: no personal attacks. I’d offer you a beer if this wasn’t the internet. Let’s get talking. —JM

Photo: Richard Frank

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