The Longest Shortest Time

Honey, Let’s Get Emotionally Intelligent

We get submissions about all kinds of parenting struggles here at LST HQ. Sometimes I’ll get a suggestion for an interview that sounds interesting and universal but for one reason or another I don’t feel comfortable tackling that issue in the podcast. One of those topics is the marital stress that comes with having a baby. Lots of you have written to me wanting to talk about conflicts with your partners and it’s just one of those issues I don’t feel equipped to handle. But it is definitely a big important subject surrounding early parenthood—and I believe one better addressed by the experts than myself.

I just finished reading the second book recommended to me by parent-infant social worker Alyson McCormick. It’s called Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child: The Heart of Parenting by John Gottman.

emotionally-intelligent-background

While drier than The Magic Years, the other book Alyson recommended, it is full of valuable advice. For those of you who have read How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child builds on Faber and Mazlish’s strategies on how to empathize with your children and help them to express and understand their emotions. But Gottman adds to the mix a chapter (as well as emotional intelligence quizzes!) for parents on how to understand our own processing of emotions, specifically in how we relate to our partners whether we are married, separated, divorced, or anything in between. If you are concerned about the tension between and your child’s other parent or stepparent, I recommend this book as a first step in comprehending what is going on in your family. Gottman has written other books specifically on marriage, which are probably worth checking out as well.

Can anyone else point us to good books or online resources for people who are seeking help with inter-parental relations? Therapists, please chime in, I know you’re out there!

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