The Longest Shortest Time

Be Right Back

Well, maybe I was too optimistic in that last post. The last couple nights Sasha has been having trouble going down and has woken up twice each night. That’s actually a lot better than we were doing before, but still—it’s very disruptive and we only wind up getting maybe 4 hours of sleep and not consecutively. We’ve been giving her the Benadryl when she wakes up the first time, usually around 1 a.m. or 2 a.m. But I also have a new trick. I rub Sasha’s back for awhile, then tell her I need to go do something and I’ll be right back. I leave her door open a crack. And this seems to be enough for her to fall asleep on her own, with minimal crying out for me. Last night I discovered that if I leave a dimmed light on in the hall, too, it helps her to fall back asleep. I’m wondering if it’s just enough for her to know that we’re there. That she’s not alone.

In other news, we’ve been continuing the book. I was excited to see Alyson McCormick’s comment (head of the play program at the Sackler Lefcourt Center for Child Development in NYC) on the last post. I’ve been taking her advice into account as we continue, especially what she said about how “it is even okay, and sometimes beneficial, if in developing a co-narrative, that the story isn’t exactly how it happened.” More on that when I post about our progress on the book.

But right now I must go try to nap. I left Sasha in her crib with the words, “Be right back,” and she seems to have bought it, as I can hear the telltale Maggie Simpson pacifier-sucking.

Thank you to everyone for your kind words and concern. It’s funny how I created this project to try to help other moms in crisis and now it is helping me, too.

Photo: Richard Frank