The Longest Shortest Time

EPISODE #128: Win!

Hey you people. This week, we’re announcing an exciting new project: the first-ever Longest Shortest Time BOOK! And we need your help to write it.

The book is called WEIRD PARENTING WINS: A Guide to Manipulating Children. We’re collecting all those weird-ass things you’ve done to get your kids to do what you need them to do—the sort of advice you’d never find in one of those expert-y parenting books. We’ve already gotten some great ones:

@longestshortest When my husband was deployed I made flat daddy 2 b w kids when they missed him #weirdparentingwins pic.twitter.com/rrg0U8n0YW

— Deployment Diatribes (@BTDTMom) May 8, 2016

My dad put ice cubes on the bottoms of my feet to keep me awake while my mom nursed me. #weirdparentingwins

— Liz Marvin (@circusliz) June 21, 2016

Toddler had to pee, no bathroom in sight. Told him if he peed the snow would turn yellow. He happily went right away. #weirdparentingwin

— Jackie D. Semmens (@Jdsemm) April 19, 2016

We’re looking for all kinds of wins here. How to manage tantrums, eating, hygiene, sibling rivalry. But also how to help your kids work through fears (real or imagined), to play independently, and to communicate with you. And we want to get to parental self care, too. How do you keep your cool? How have you kept up your sex life? By the way, we’re using the word “parent” loosely here—we want to hear wins from all kinds of caregivers: grandparents, aunts, uncles, babysitters, friends.

Got that? Good. Now, submit your win!

Tune in this week as LST editor Peter Clowney joins Hillary to talk through some of the favorite wins we’ve heard so far.

Plus, you’ll get a tour of our swanky new website (thanks, Duck Brigade + KornDev!), and some fun changes we’ve made to our newsletter. (Ahem: Speaking of which, our newsletter subscribers are first to get updates whenever we’re scheming something new. So make sure to sign up here!)

Last but not least… we have a story for you! We don’t want to give it away, but it involves John Moe, host of the podcast The Hilarious World of Depression. And this little nugget:

Her name is Marshmallow. She looks cute, but don’t be fooled. She turns people into liars.

What’s the biggest lie YOU’VE ever told your kids?
C’mon, fess up. In the comments, y’all.

Featured image: Peter’s kids, Owen and Tadelech … and this holds the key to Peter’s Weird Parenting Win.
(credit: Amy Wurdock)

Our sponsors for this episode are Peanut, Sun Basket, Little Passports (code: LONGSHORT), and Third Love. Use the promo codes at checkout for a special discount.