The Longest Shortest Time

EPISODE #224: Sex-Positive Books for Tweens and Teens (And Parents!)

Sex ed in schools isn’t cutting it, and studies show that kids are turning to porn for answers. But there’s a healthier way for young people to learn about intimacy — books! In this episode, Hillary and Traci Thomas share their favorite fiction and nonfiction titles to help kids learn about sex and healthy relationships.

Traci is the creator and host of The Stacks, a podcast all about books and the ways they shape culture. She’s a prolific reader – consuming dozens of books every year while raising twins – so she has plenty of suggestions for people of all ages.

Tune in for books that’ll help tweens and teens navigate the complicated world of sex and relationships — plus a few titles that’ll help put a spark in the sex lives of parents.

FULL LIST OF BOOKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
You can also find the collection here.

Sex Ed Basics
If you’re looking for straightforward reading about sex and bodies, writer Cory Silverberg and illustrator Fiona Smyth have beautiful, colorful books for kids of all ages.

• What Makes a Baby (ages 3-7)

• Sex Is a Funny Word (ages 7-10)

• You Know, Sex (ages 10-14)

Fiction for Tweens + Teens
Middle grade and YA novels are often about romantic relationships and intimacy. These books help kids navigate the complexity of those experiences.

• 24 Seconds from Now by Jason Reynolds (ages 14-18)

• Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up with Me by Mariko Tamaki; illustrated by Rosemary Valero-O’Connell (ages 14-18)

• Anna K by Jenny Lee (ages 14-18)

• Pet by Akwaeke Emezi (ages 12-14)

Adult Nonfiction for Older Teens
In 2019, Hillary published a book called Weird Parenting Wins: Bathtub Dining, Family Screams, and Other Hacks from the Parenting Trenches — and those hacks came from you, our listeners! One of our favorite hacks is very simple: leave books lying around the house where kids can find them. This approach is especially good for topics that can be awkward to discuss, or if you think your kid will reject a book because it was recommended by mom (ugh).

For older kids, adult nonfiction can be a great way to learn about sex and relationships through other people’s lived experiences.

• Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex by Angela Chen

• Abortion: Our Bodies, Their Lies, and the Truths We Use to Win by Jessica Valenti

• Girls and Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape by Peggy Orenstein

• Boys and Sex: Young Men on Hookups, Love, Porn, Consent, and Navigating the New Masculinity by Peggy Orenstein

• Sex, Teens, and Everything in Between: The New and Necessary Conversations Today’s Teenagers Need to Have about Consent, Sexual Harassment, Healthy Relationships, Love, and More by Shafia Zaloom

Adult Memoirs for Older Teens
Traci recommends memoir in general as a genre for learning about sex and relationships because sexual experiences are often embedded in the story — and memoirs are captivating to read! Here are a couple that she loves.

• Heavy by Kiese Laymon

• Another Word for Love by Carvell Wallace

Books to Help Spark Parents’ Sex Lives
It can be hard to keep up an active sex life as a parent, whether you live with a partner or not. So we asked Traci to come up with a few books that partners can read together — or separately — to help put a spark in their sex lives. Think of it as a sexy little book club for two. Here are a few ideas Traci suggests to get you started.

• Anonymous Sex edited by Hillary Jordan and Cheryl Lu-Lien Tan

• Hot Air by Marcy Dermansky

• You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty by Akwaeke Emezi (We cut this one from the episode for time, but both Traci and Hillary love this forbidden love story!)

• Romance novels – try books by Tia Williams or Kennedy Ryan

Top photo: Claire Leahy, Jackson Musker