The Longest Shortest Time

Show Me the Bunnies!

A few weeks ago Sasha began to discover that there were all kinds of things in this world that I won’t let her do. Like follow a big white dog into an apartment building. Or run around the house with an open bubbles container. Or drink sunscreen from the tube (or at all). There’s been a lot of screaming, All done, all done, all DONE! And the more recent, and perhaps sadder, Almost done, almost done! The worst fits happen only when she and I are alone. It’s been hard not to take things personally.

At the end of a raw day recently I offered Sasha a plate of some of her favorite foods for dinner. Chicken, strawberries, hummus to be eaten with fingers. Everything was met with all done! She then began requesting other types of foods. Broccoli, cheese, seaweed, pasta, and finally the thing that she apparently wanted most of all: money. Surely, she meant something else. But she said it again, enunciating loud and clear. Money. Moneymoneymoneymoneymoney.

Baby, I said. I don’t know what money is.

MONEY! she screamed.

What is money? I begged. What is money?

All done! she shouted. All done, money.

At this point I was feeling all done, so I did the only thing I felt I could do in that moment. I went to the kitchen and bawled. I stayed there for a few minutes collecting myself, and when I returned to the dining room I saw Sasha pushing her food around on her plate, examining it, her finger a metal detector scanning for, uh, you know what. I hung back in the doorway. She started chanting. Chickin. Chickin. Chickinchickinchickinchickinchickin. Then, with her little pincer grasp, she picked up a chunk of chicken and put it in her mouth. She went in for another piece, and then another, devouring the chicken and chanting its name all the while. Next up were strawberries. Bay-ees. Bayeesbayeesbayeesbayeesbayees. And so on, until she had finished each item on her plate. I was floored. And for the time being, my toddler was calm.

But there was still a mystery to be solved.

The next morning Sasha awoke with her same puzzling request from the night before. Money. She frantically ran to the kitchen looking for it. Demanding it. Crying real tears for it. I found myself actually saying, Show me the money. Show me the money.

I never did figure out what she was looking for. My best guess is that she wanted bunny crackers and was confusing bunny with money. Maybe? Who knows. Anyway, we’ve moved on to other word games, like guess which song title I’m asking for on the Music Together CD . . . no, not that one . . . NO, NO, NO, ah yes, that one . . . but now I want a different one. And also a word game that makes it so clear that this girl is my daughter, and has been my most joyful experience with her so far. More on that in the next blog post.

I think what I’m learning is that there are going to be many longest shortest times in my life with Sasha. That they will catch me by surprise. And even when Sasha has mastered the English language, I know there will be times when I will misunderstand her. This is daunting, yet it also makes my first longest shortest time feel so distant, which is nice in a way.

Any experienced moms out there have words of wisdom to offer on future longest shortest times? New moms with fears of what lies ahead? Or relief at having made it past the beginning?