The Longest Shortest Time

The Treachery of Swings and Slides

Going to the playground takes a lot of emotional strength. At least that’s what I’ve found. It’s actually pretty fun if we meet up with friends. But if I’m going to take Sasha by myself, I have to be in the right frame of mind.

Inevitably, we’ll find ourselves at the swings beside another mom and toddler. The mom will ask me, “How old?” It’ll turn out that Sasha and the other little girl are only a day apart.

“Does she walk?” the mom will ask me.

“Yes,” I’ll say.

“How long?”

“Since she was eleven months.”

The mom will point at her own child with disgust. “I wanted her to walk by her first birthday. But she only started a month ago.”

“It’s fine,” I’ll assure her. “They all develop different skills at different rates.”

More questions ensue. Has she stopped breastfeeding? How much milk does she drink? From a bottle or sippy cup? Straw or spout? Is she clingy or easygoing? Still using a pacifier? I am not breaking any new ground here by saying that these questions clearly boil down to: Who is a better mother, you or me? Going to the playground means bracing myself for this kind of intensity and some days I’d rather stay home, even if it means an entire afternoon of cleaning crumbled ducky crackers off the floor.

In our next podcast episode I’ll talk to a fellow new mom about what is perhaps the most loaded subject new moms can discuss: sleep. As in, are you getting any? And if you are, then how? This topic is so controversial that I already know some of you out there won’t like the sleep method I chose. But I’ll keep that to myself until the episode airs. How did you get your baby to sleep once she was old enough to go down sans swaddling and vibrating chair?