Tim-Fiona-fly

PODCAST #20:

I've Got News, 5

Ellen and Tim’s baby is here!

Ellen-Fiona-flyElle-Fiona-nursing-horiz

Tom-roofing

We began the I’ve Got News series two years ago with Ellen’s father Tom telling us about Ellen’s birth—the result of an unplanned pregnancy. We conclude the series, as well as Season 1 of LST, with Ellen’s baby’s birth—also the result of an unplanned pregnancy. Find out how the new family is doing, and about the project Ellen’s dad took on as a coping mechanism. Hint at left.

Thank you to Ellen and Tom and their families for being so open with me over the last couple of years. If their story has resonated with you, please consider leaving a comment on this post. I know they would love to hear from you.

7 thoughts on “PODCAST #20: I’ve Got News 5

  1. I’ve been sort of baffled throughout this series at the frequent mention of how YOUNG Ellen is and how YOUNG Tom is. It seems to me that 23 is not all that young to become a mother, and 47 is not all that young for becoming a grandparent. My parents became grandparents at 48– both my mom and sister had their first child at 24, and both pregnancies were planned.

    As mentioned toward the end of this episode, the current trend is definitely toward waiting longer to become a parent, but treating a pregnancy at 23 as if it’s a teen pregnancy does a disservice to 20-somethings in this country. It seems to perpetuate the stereotype that today’s “millenials” all refuse to grow up, and can’t be trusted with adult responsibilities.

    Full disclosure: I am 28, and have an 18 month old and another on the way (both planned).

    1. Thanks for pointing this out, Abby. I totally agree that this isn’t the same as a teen pregnancy, and I hope it doesn’t come across as if I’ve treated it that way. Not my intention. What I’d hoped to convey was that this surprise pregnancy changed the track of Ellen’s life. Made her have to rethink her immediate future in a big way. Any unplanned pregnancy would do this to a person. For Ellen, it had the impact of making the choice to drop out of college, which changed her career path for the next few years. This pregnancy, as it turned out, also had a very positive impact on her life, forcing her to reevaluate her priorities and “grow up” more quickly than she’d imagined. If she’d been a teenager, this story would’ve been far different. The “youngness” that I talk about has little to do with when a person is mature enough to handle parenthood, and everything to do with Ellen’s own expectations of how her life would go versus what actually happened. Same goes for her dad. I am all for people having kids in their 20s. And I hope it’s clear from this series that I believe Ellen when she says she’s in a much better place now, after having a kid, than she would’ve been otherwise.

  2. Sorry– my original post may have come across more accusatory than I meant it to. I still think the series was very interesting and I enjoyed it quite a bit. It was primarily Ellen and Tom themselves who would frequently reference their ages (a 47 year old grandpa!), but I think what made the pregnancy complicated had much more to do with her life stage and being unplanned than her age.

  3. It was heartwarming to hear how great things are going for Ellen and her family. I was so happy for her that her labor, delivery, and nursing sounded relatively uncomplicated!! And as someone who had what would be considered a completely textbook, actually probably ideal, natural labor and delivery, it resonated to hear Ellen say she still felt like a failure. I didn’t have the same physical complications that many women do, but still had to deal with some strong feelings of failing, anxiety, ineptitude, for the first several weeks, if not months. Hillary, thanks for bringing us such a beautifully put together story.

  4. I love this podcast!! I came across the series a week ago and have listened to the whole thing. I would love to hear more from Ellen and her family, particularly after she returns to work. As a full-time working mom I can say those first 3 months were bliss (full of sleepless nights and a crying crying crying baby) and the real hardship came when I went back to work. I can’t imagine working nights! This whole blog is an amazing resource I recommend to my friends but I would love to hear more from the working parent’s perspective.

  5. Wow! I listened to this last night, and Tom’s advice still sticks with me today… I think I’m going to think about this one for a long time! I just transcribed it (quickly, not very accurate):
    “If you want to help me, the most important thing you can do is take care of yourself as an individual. Not as Ellen’s boyfriend, not as the baby’s dad. Don’t do this out of some perceived duty. […] If you don’t understand what it takes for you to be happy. If you can’t live your life as a self-actualized, happy, young adult, you’re gonna be worth shit for my daughter, and therefore worth shit for the baby. So, if you wanna do right by me, take care of yourself as an individual, and that means pursue your own individual happyness and satisfaction. And that’s really hard to do when you’re caught up in all this drama! […] I think it’s really basic… human… need.”

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