Eggs Over Freezy

Last week, we heard from Andrea Silenzi, who’s single, in her early 30s, and wants to be a mom—but doesn’t have a plan on how to get there. This week we talk to a woman who *does* have a plan: egg freezing.

My friend Sahar has a wonderfully wry sense of humor (see Instagram samples below, along with her captions).

What a cute couple

This is some bad kerning

I always enjoy hearing Sahar’s perspective on the world. And so I was thrilled when she told me she wanted to come on the show and walk me through the process of getting her eggs frozen.

So far, the closest Sahar has gotten to parenthood is caring for her elderly chihuahua, Frankie. And Frankie was there for her when she came home with thousands of dollars worth of drugs that she needed to self-inject in order to prepare for… the egg harvest. Yes, that’s what they really call it.

Tune in to find out if egg freezing turns out to be the solid backup plan Sahar is seeking.

More on Egg Freezing
Our pals behind the great website FertilityIQ have done a ton of research on egg freezing, as well as all things fertility related. If you’re considering freezing your eggs, here are some resources from them to get you started. And to find a doctor or clinic near you, use their handy search tool.

Here’s info on the cost of egg freezing and an article on how egg freezing works—including some sobering charts on egg retrieval numbers and embryo quality declining with age, like this one:

Here you’ll find suggestions on what age you should be when you freeze your eggs, plus a helpful video detailing the entire process.

And here’s an NPR story on how some Silicon Valley companies are offering an egg-freezing benefit to their employees.

What measures have you taken to manage YOUR ticking biological clock?
Maybe you’ve frozen your eggs? Maybe you’re thinking about it? Comments, please!

Correction: In this episode, we originally said Clytemnestra was a Greek goddess. She was actually the human wife of Agamemnon.

Our sponsors for this episode are Third Love, Squarespace, 1-800 Flowers (click the radio icon and use code LONGSHORT) and Warby Parker. Use the promo codes at checkout for a special discount.

38 thoughts on “EPISODE #120: Eggs Over Freezy

  1. I mean this without snark, but if someone is this whelmed by having to take multiple buses and wake up “early” in the morning at 8am, parenting would come as a severe shock. What I took from this episode was not ambivalence. It was a pretty clear and obvious conviction that she is not ready to Change her life in the ways necessary to raise a kid. And that’s okay. Because people don’t have to be parents. I just kept thinking that if this was 30 years ago or she didn’t have the privilege of financial means to even consider freezing eggs, the choice to remain child free would be obvious. I guess this episode just seemed trivializing to people who want to be parents with certainty, but perhaps LST is just expanding topically?

    1. Stephanie, with all due respect, I think this is an unfair assessment of Sahar and her situation. If a person says they want to be a parent, we must take their word for it. Everyone’s circumstances are different, and technology is allowing for new opportunities — yes, if one can afford them. Which we acknowledged in the episode. As for complaining about transportation, I’m a mom and I am constantly complaining about frustrating transportation. I don’t believe that makes me unprepared for motherhood. I think it’s being a human!

      1. I think that the frustrations of everyday life, like coping with transportation, are a great litmus test for how we will manage if we have a child. Ditto waiting in lines, doing the same thing 47 times in a row, not showering alone, and sleep deprivation. I agree that we should take everyone’s desire to be a parent at face value. But I worry when the things driving that need are stuff like wearing clogs and having gray hair.

    2. I wasn’t overwhelmed by waking up at 4:30am. I did it. I complained a little bit because I am a human person who was very tired during that recording. If you haven’t waited for an E train on a Saturday at 7am, I would withhold judgment. Also complaining about MTA is a thing that New Yorkers do!

      I do find it interesting that you brought up complaining as a litmus test. A lot of my friends with children complain about their everyday travails. I don’t judge them for it. If anything, it makes the whole process of parenting seem possible and I’m very grateful they feel safe and comfortable enough to share that with me. Holding parents (or in my case potential and hopeful parents) up to an impossible standard that doesn’t allow for a tiny bit of whining is unfair and impractical.

      I assure you that raising a child is something I know I want to do and that am capable of doing. People way more whiny than me have been doing it for millennia.

      1. I am a mom, and complained about waking up early before becoming a mom.

        I have a toddler and I still complain.

        I’m glad you want to be a mom;, it’s the most fun thing I’ve ever done, and I highly recommend it!

        1. Yep. I complained about being tired and all sorts of things before becoming a mom. The act of parenthood immediately offers perspective on time (ahem, LST) and one’s patience expands in amazing ways.
          Everyone gets to have their thing(s) that drive them nuts–with or without kiddos.

    3. Why is it that parents feel that everyone else is only entitled to complain only after they’ve become a parent? Obviously things become much harder when you have to adapt your life to a child’s needs, but does that mean that childless people can’t find life remotely difficult sometimes?
      On that note, I find that more and more often, parents do not do a good job selling the joys of parenthood to future mother and fathers. As an expectant mother, don’t I have anything to look forward to once my baby is born besides how much harder everything gets?

    4. I think you might be missing the point that Sahar knows she is not ready to have kids at this moment which is why she is freezing her eggs. She is planning for her future. Complaining or not complaining about being tired does not measure our ability to be a good parent.

      Hillary and Sahar,
      Thank you for this episode. I am struggling to conceive with my second child and have started the process of consulting with an infertility doctor. It was nice to hear about what I may be in for.

    5. I have a 2 year old and waking up at 8 am, then taking multiple buses to the dr from bedstuy to uptown sounds harder to me . Yuck. Also I am a night owl and after two years of parenting I still dread and hate waking up that early. But that doesn’t make me a bad mom nor did that stop me from being ready. Some people just aren’t morning people and children don’t even change that.

  2. Just a pro tip from a 10-time IVF survivor. If you screw up with meds and waste some, call the companies; in many situations they have a spoilage and wastage program and will replace it with very little fuss on your end.

  3. Also, good luck Sahar! I hope you never need the eggs, but go you for making a good backup plan.

  4. This was said before but the casualness of this discussion really bothered me. As a woman who has gone through IVF not as insurance but as the only means possible to get pregnant, the tone of the episode just rubbed me the wrong way. It had nothing to do with her situation, which I totally understand and would probably be in if I were still single. It was more of the lack of acknowledgement (besides a 30 second mention) of the more complex IVF process. I would love to hear a podcast on women going through IVF and FET (Frozen embryo transfers). The two week wait is horrendous and I think we should all be talking about it more. Also she talked about having support of co-workers. But for so many women going through IVF (myself included) there is so much shame and embarrassment that we dont discuss with co-workers. I didnt even discuss with my family (i.e. I have a child and my parents have no idea what I went through to get her).

    1. Hi Anonymous,
      Thank you so much for sharing this, we really appreciate hearing from our listeners. I’d encourage you to check out episode #23 The Longest Longest Time. Also, you can always submit your story for consideration!
      — Abigail, LST producer

  5. Clytemnestra was a mortal queen, not a goddess, although she was ALMOST fathered by Zeus… he raped her mother Leda (posing as a sexy swan does not equal consent) and she got pregnant with quadruplets, two from one egg were Zeus’, two from a different egg were her mortal husband’s (including Clytemnestra.) The theo-biology here seems a bit dodgy. ANYHOO… amusing connection considering the topic. Thanks for the podcast, by the way, very informative and Sahar sounds like a funny, self-aware person and I’m sure she’ll be a rad mom someday. (And I hope she doesn’t end up having to kill her partner to avenge him murdering her daughter like Clytemnestra)

  6. Thank you all so much for this. I’m a 37 year old Palestinian American living between Israel and the West Bank, and one of my fellow yoga teacher friends sent me this podcast. I emailed a close few letting them know I’ve started the pre test processes for eggs freezing, finally, and needed their moral support. I’ve been thinking about it for 3 years, seriously, but needed to be located in Israel more regularly to start the process. I’ve cried many times out of a deeper sense of shame that I need to do this-that somehow I haven’t “accomplished” finding my partner and having a family naturally yet, although I know rationally that’s BS. But still, for me, the emotional weight of this, of dating for 16 years with ssoooooo many stories and lessons learned (I lived in DC for a very long time – or overseas, 4 times – all making it more difficult). My pharmacist cousin came over tonight to help me research in Hebrew, and we’re going to try and figure out which clinic and doctor to go with. Doing all of this in a language I don’t speak well in a different country and without much support except the discreet kind has been overwhelming. Thanks for the honest account (although you ladies talk way too fast! :) ), albeit scary that it seems at 37 I’m already too late and would have to do this more than once. Wish me luck, and thanks for the virtual support. 🙏🏼

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