The Longest Shortest Time

Eating as Conversation

In my post for our last podcast episode I mentioned that Heidi, Tom’s wife, is a pediatric dietitian, and that she highly recommended the book How to Get Your Kid to Eat . . . But Not Too Much by Ellyn Satter. I am almost finished reading the book and I can say that it has already lifted a lot of anxiety for me around meal times. Satter’s feeding philosophy operates on two guiding principles, no matter what age your child is:

• Parents are responsible for what is presented to eat and the manner in which it is presented.
• Children are responsible for how much and even whether they eat.

Satter likens a healthy eating/feeding relationship with an infant or toddler to a “sort of non-verbal, nicely flowing conversation.” In other words, if we follow our child’s lead in terms of pacing and desired quantity of food, we are acting as good “conversation partners.” But if we cut a meal short or try to get them to eat more broccoli just because we want them to, they will not want to converse with us in that way anymore. You know, like when you’re hanging out with someone who just doesn’t get you—you’re spilling your guts and they’re constantly cutting you off and changing the subject or only wanting to circle the topic back around to themselves.

But back to Satter’s rules. She is very adamant that we pick the 3 or 4 things we’re going to serve for a meal and stick to those things. The kid gets to decide what and how much they will eat of that. And you are not to offer alternatives to that meal if they ask for something else or even if they choose not to eat at all. This advice would’ve been very useful to me the day that Sasha requested money for dinner. Ever since implementing Satter’s strategies I’ve felt a lot less pressure to stop tantrums.

Anyway. Read the book. You’ll learn the secrets about how to get your kid to like veggies, to learn how to balance sweets and junk with nutrition, and to be an adventurous eater. Satter is full of good, logical (though not always intuitive) advice—and not only about feeding.

Anyone else have good resources on nutrition?