The Longest Shortest Time

I Don’t Wanna Be Naked Like That

When I was twelve years old I loved being around toddlers so much that I volunteered at a local nursery school in the summer. I’d walk there every day and occasionally a neighbor’s black Scottie named Ted would follow me. I babysat those kids and countless others through high school, college, and grad school. For a couple months I worked as a teaching assistant in a preschool summer camp. This is all to say, I’ve seen a lot of potty successes and disasters.

In the summer camp alone we had a girl who peed all over her lunchbox (aw, soggy PB&J!), a boy who boasted of his good aim (it was excellent), a girl who spoke loudly of her “panties” while looking in disdain at the only little boy who still wore diapers. And that little boy, who was so embarrassed of his diaper use when we’d change into bathing suits that he’d refuse to take his clothes off. “But I don’t wanna be naked like that!” he’d scream. (Actually, it was even cuter: he’d pronounce “naked” with an M.) We’d just let him go in the sprinkler fully clothed and then change him into fresh clothes after. Looking back on these kids, I am fully convinced that children know when they are ready for “panties” and everybody is ready at different times, so there is no use in forcing the issue.

Recently, LST listener Heather wrote to ask me for some reading recommendations on potty training. Because I have decided to take a pretty laid-back approach, I hadn’t read anything yet. But I did ask frequent commenter and children’s librarian Kate (also of LST episode 11) for some recommendations. Before I get to those, I want to tell an anecdote about Sasha and the potty—my only anecdote to date of Sasha and the potty, actually.

Sasha has shown absolutely no interest in her potty other than as a chair to sit on while I’m using the big potty. Mostly. Back when she was in her cast, we went to a science museum with a couple moms and their kids—a boy and a girl, both several months older than Sasha. The girl had just turned two and over lunch her mom was telling us about how the girl had started suggesting that she poop in the potty. I think I was asking a bunch of questions about it, so I must’ve seemed intrigued by this girl’s potty use, but I didn’t think Sasha noticed; she was pretty engrossed in her applesauce.

Then we came home.

“Poop, poop!” Sasha told me, as she often does when she has to go.

“Poop it out, Baby,” I encouraged.

“Poop, poop!” she said more urgently.

“Oh, did you already go?” I asked, lifting her to her changing table.

She looked me dead in the eye. “Potty,” she said.

Uh, okay. On a total leap of faith I carried her to the potty. I unsnapped her overalls, pulled them down over her bulky cast, ripped off her diaper, and waited. It wasn’t long before we got results. Lots of them. Like, way more than I could possibly imagine fitting in baby intestines.

And I was left with the resounding question: NOW WHAT?

I didn’t have any wipes on hand. I had a child with a broken leg who wasn’t capable of standing. With some tricky maneuvering I figured it out and congratulated her (but not TOO much). And in the three months since it has never happened again. But like I said, this is an aspect of early parenting that I’m pretty relaxed about. I know it will happen when she’s ready and we’ll deal with all of the missteps and fears and pride that come with such a momentous transition.

Until then, I am easing her into the idea of the potty with a few of Kate’s recommendations. Here they are:

Leslie Patricelli’s Potty is a simple (and funny!) look at potty use from a child’s perspective. Sasha and I have gone through it a few times and she seems to get the concepts of having to go, waiting for it to happen, and having something happen. We also like to point out our favorite pairs of underpants on the last page. Mine are the ones with the rainbow; hers are the yellow ones with white polka-dots.

Though I’m not including any grownup books on this list, Going to the Potty by (Mister) Fred Rogers is a great one for parents. There is a nice intro directed at parents but I feel like the entire book, though written in language easily understood by children, gives us a realistic idea of what our expectations can be. For those of you experiencing anxiety over potty training, this book may calm your nerves a bit.

Once your child has the mechanics of potty usage down, try Hope Vestergaard’s Potty Animals for a fun exploration into potty etiquette. Washing up, flushing, knocking before entering, going before getting on a bus—all things that need to be reinforced so as to minimize things like peeing on one’s PB&J.

Thanks for the tips, Kate!