The Longest Shortest Time
We’ve Got Merch!
Hey, y’all, we’ve got merch! Check out the options below, including a special offer on tattoos for LST+ members!
For all you nerds, the dashes around the human heart spell MOM in Morse code
These gorgeous temporary tattoos were drawn by tattoo artist Jessie Hopeless, who was in our episode Kicking Ass While Pregnant — about how she was the inspiration for some of Marvel’s Spider-Woman comics.
When people see this picture, they often compliment me on my tattoo, thinking it’s real!
Get a personalized handwritten note from me!
LST+ members get a handwritten, personalized note from me with tattoo orders. If you’re not already a member, we’re running a discount through Mother’s Day 2026. Join here and use code MOTHER26 for $10 off annual membership.
To be sure your tattoos arrive by Mother’s Day, order by May 1, 2026. The club discount runs all the way through Mother’s Day and you can also give membership as a gift!
I’ll send you or your recipient a note on a limited edition letterpress notecard from our 2013 Kickstarter!
These poop-themes onesies are designed to remind you that early parenthood truly is the longest shortest time. It won’t be like this forever!
3-6 months: One day you’ll miss when my poop was yellow.
3-6 month onesie
6-12 months: One day I’ll ruin this outfit with a poopsplosion.
6-12 month onesie
12-18 months: One day I’ll poop in the toilet (for bribes).
12-18 month onesie
Order a full set for a discount!
The perfect bag to tote around diapers, wipes, burp cloths, and that book you’ll never have time to read. And, of course, your phone and headphones to zen out with The Longest Shortest Time. Or use it for the beach! Your commute! Anything! Just don’t forget the headphones.
Variation on our logo designed by the talented Teddy Blanks
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